Brothers
Lucas’ big brother Robert was home for a visit this weekend. Robert is 2 years older than Lucas, and is living in Pittsburgh, PA right now.
Lucas misses his big brother, sometimes A LOT! (The house was so lonely when Robert left that we ended up getting a dog for lucas!)
Robert is the only friend Lucas has ever had, and that probably won’t ever change. Having autism means you have trouble communicating, AND are clueless about all social situations, so having friends is difficult, if not impossible.
But to Robert, Lucas is just Lucas. He’s the same brother Robert’s always known and loved, so Robert treats him just like other brothers treat their siblings; with a total lack of respect, a lot of love, and an eye towards both annoying the heck out of him while watching out for him, all at the same time.
I think the siblings of disabled people sometimes don’t realize just how special they are. Because they’re closer in age to their brother or sister, they can sometimes get through where a teacher, a doctor or a parent can’t.
Robert is the one who taught Lucas how to brush his teeth correctly and how to drink from a cup without a lid.
We used to need 5 adults to hold Lucas down for a shot or blood work. One day, Robert needed a shot, too. He told Lucas to watch. Lucas watched; the nurse gave Robert his shot, and Robert responded with an, “Ow, that hurt.” Then he looked at Lucas and said, “THAT’S what you say when you get a shot. Now let’s do yours.”
Sure enough, the “team of five” stood by, and we watched as Lucas, with Robert by his side, sat on the exam table. We watched that nurse insert the needle and draw his blood without him making a sound or moving. Then, as the nurse withdrew the needle, he said, “Ow, that hurts.” Just like his big brother showed him to do!
When Lucas was transferred to the autism classroom at our local high school, Robert was the one who took ME to buy “cool” clothes for Lucas, explaining that just because Lucas was autistic, he didn’t need to wear dorky, childish clothes that would make him stand out even more! I had honestly never thought about that, but now I do, especially when I see other disabled kids at school wearing “uncool” clothes!
I hope Robert knows how special he is, both to us and to his little brother. Lucas doesn’t show his emotions much, but he really loves his brother, and I think his life is better than we could have ever hoped for, in large part because of Robert.
From teaching him silly “Thriller” moves to helping him learn, Robert is and will always be the most important person in Lucas’ life.
“He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother.”
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