Lunch Problems
I said I’d write about gym class and Special Olympics. But we’ve had a ‘lunch crisis’ compounded by other stuff, and if I don’t write about it now I won’t get to it (life is moving REALLY quickly these days!)

A little background - Lucas’ regular teacher is out for 2 weeks on medical leave, and in her absence I’m having trouble getting any info from his classroom.
E-mail replaces “Home-School book” - The supremely effective “home-school” book that’s been used successfully to communicate between home and school all these years isn’t used at his new classroom, as his teacher prefers to rely on e-mail instead.
Except - When his teacher’s out, e-mail doesn’t work very well at all…
Lunch Problem #1, Milk - Lucas brings his lunch from home 4 days a week (healthier and cheaper), buying a carton of milk to go with it in the cafeteria. He buys lunch once a week; usually pizza, and usually on Fridays. He’s done this all 16 years he’s been in school.
Lucas discovered on his first day in his new classroom that he can’t buy milk to drink with his lunch, and came home quite agitated about it. His teacher said the cafeteria at the college where his classroom is located doesn’t sell milk by itself, only as part of a meal.(?)
Okay, so we decided to buy a small bottle of milk at Walmart, and send it in for Lucas’ use at lunch. After all, they have a small kitchen in the classroom, so no problem, right?
Last Monday, we sent the milk in, and even sent in a cup. On Wednesday, Lucas brought the cup home, telling us in his convoluted way that the cup was “stinky”. I’ll say! It stank of old milk! So much for THAT idea.
Then…
No Lunch - Last week, Lucas planned to buy his “pizza lunch” on Thursday, because the students had no school Friday (teacher in-service). He really looks forward to that pizza lunch, and even reminded me that morning, saying ”Mom, pizza money”.
So imagine my utter shock when I got a phone call from a teacher, telling me that Lucas had gotten no lunch at all that day!!
According to this teacher, the class had been “told all week” that they would have a “baked potato bar” on Thursday, as part of a cooking activity. When Lucas took a bite of the baked potato, he gagged, and they were afraid to let him eat any more for fear he’d throw up.
I explained that Lucas doesn’t eat potatoes (something about the texture), but since I didn’t know about the cooking activity, I couldn’t tell them he doesn’t eat potatoes.
I also explained that I’d really like some sort of communication about what’s going on at school, so that if something like this comes up again, I can give them a “heads up”. The teacher suggested I just send in a list of the foods that Lucas doesn’t eat…
Back to the milk - While I had the teacher on the phone, I asked about the dirty milk cup (I had sent an e-mail about it, but hadn’t received a response). The teacher explained that since the students leave for work immediately after lunch, there’s no time to work on “cup washing” skills then.
See? There’s usually a logical explanation for things, but if there’s no communication between home and school, how would we know what’s going on?
I told this teacher that I would see if Lucas could buy milk at the elementary school he changes buses at each morning, and she had an interesting response…
She said that every day someone has to go to that school to pick up lunches for students on the “free lunch” program. She said she’d see if that person could just pick up a carton of milk for Lucas when they picked up the daily lunches. She’d let me know.
That was last Thursday.
Still no word on milk - I e-mailed the teacher this morning, asking about the milk for Lucas’ lunch today. I explained that if they couldn’t pick it up for him, to let me know and I’d drop some off at the classroom before lunch.
I didn’t hear a word from the teacher until 4:30 this afternoon. Of course, LONG before that, Lucas arrived for work, with additional issues from school…
Self Injury - Lucas got off the bus with large scratches across his forehead, the sign of a really frustrated Lucas. Let’s see that forehead again:

Pencil instead of pen - The aide on the bus told me that he was upset because they had made him use a pencil instead of a pen in his planner. I explained that he hasn’t used a pencil for years, preferring a pen for all writing.
The reasoning is that it’s easier to erase something in his new planner book than to scribble it out and write next to it. Okay, but again, if I had known, I could have helped prepare him for that change from pen to pencil.
A “Brat”? - Once Lucas got into his work routine, I asked him why he scratched himself. He said, “Teacher said, ‘Brat, no pen!’”
Ironically - There was NO mention of Lucas being called a “brat” in the e-mail I received from the teacher this afternoon, nor was there any mention of him scratching himself (maybe he did it on the bus, and the school staff member on the bus didn’t notice it?)
However, the teacher DID tell me that they “rely on the students to inform their parents about what is happening.”
Here’s the thing - At least 6 of those students are part of the Delaware Autism Program, and one reason they’re not in a normal classroom is BECAUSE THEY CAN’T COMMUNICATE VERY WELL (picture me banging my head against a wall here), among other things.
Now granted, this teacher, who has known Lucas for 14 whole days now, also said that she was “under the impression that from talking to Lucas, he was capable of telling people what things were important to him…”
But wouldn’t it make sense to read the speech evaluation that was just done to see how well Lucas communicates? (FYI, his language skills scored between 3 and 7 years old. Good enough to rely on him to be the sole source of communication between home and school? I DON’T THINK SO!)
Tomorrow, Lucas will be working at home all day. This may continue until the following occur:
- His regular autism teacher is back from leave.
- Daily communication is established and ensured between home and school.
- He receives milk every day with his lunch.
- I know EXACTLY what’s going on in the classroom for the ‘next day’, so that Lucas gets some actual benefit from his education.
Or it may continue all year; I’ll let you know.
P. S. But the good news is that he DID get milk today!
Lauren,
All I can say is OH MY GOD!!! I am so sorry. Ibet Lucas doesn’t think I am the bad guy now.
Thanks, Cammy.
Suffice it to say that so far, we’re “underwhelmed” with Lucas’ new classroom. (HE’S feeling much better now, though, thanks to chocolate cake…)
Take care and thanks for the support,
Lauren
Lauren,
This response totally does not fit this discussion, but I came across your blog while doing a search on wisdom teeth removal and autism. I saw a post of yours when you took him to the first oral surgeon. Did he have them out?
My 18 year-old son Alex has autism, and is mostly non-verbal. I’m concerned about his wisdom teeth removal this coming Thursday, Oct 1. How did your son do with this? Any helpful tips you can pass along? Feel free to email me any ideas you have!
I love your business idea for your son and others. I wish my son could participate in something like that, but I think Delaware is a little bit too far from California!
Take care,
Cyndi
Hi Cyndi,
Thanks for writing. You know, I totally forgot to finish THAT story!! Yes, Lucas did have his wisdom teeth pulled, and thanks to some careful planning, all went well.
I’ll e-mail tonight, and explain further (and I’ll try to finish that post this week, too…)
I stumbled across your blog while searching for autism and jewelry. Love your blog.
Dear Mrs ? Lauren,
I am a 14 years old teenage girl, from Morocco (a country in Africa and no I’m not black! I’m white!), and while I was doing a research on autism, I stumbled across your blog.
I read the whole thing and it brought tears to my eyes.
The way you, your husband and especially your son, Lucas struggle every day in life with your head held high , is simply amazing and eye-opening.
And I used to think that my insignificant teenage problems mattered… How stupid of me!
Anyway, your son is amazing! His daily struggle as an autistic teenager is truly touching and he would never have achieved this level of progress without your support and help!
Your faith and belief that things are never as worse or as hopeless as they seem is astounding!
You are truly a role model for everybody!
Sincerely,
Mary.
PS : - I apologise for my not so good English. It’s my third language, you see…
But MOST IMPORTANTLY, continue supporting Lucas! You are blessed to have this teenager!
Kiss him for me, would you?
Thank you, Mary AND Mari, for your kind words! But I have to tell you, keeping daily life in perspective is not that hard, when I have Lucas and his hard work EVERY DAY as my example!
Dear Lauren family,
I admire your strength and support for each other, and know that mother has to work the most. I wish you and your son God’s blessings and support in everyday life.